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Post by Wanderer of the Mountains on Sept 29, 2005 22:37:14 GMT -5
A man dies and goes up to heaven. "Follow me" asks Peter, before taking the man to Jesus. On the way, they pass through a room full of clocks with name tags on them. "What are these clocks for?" the man asks. Peter replys "Each clock represents a politican, everytime they lie, their clock hand goes around once." The man peers around before asking, "Where's Jean Chretien?" "Oh," saids Peter "Jesus has it in his office, he's using it as a fan."
Note from Riley: Please no swearing, no put-downs, and no dirty, sexist, racist or overly-deterogitory jokes. This includes staff members and my friends. Anyone who disobeys, I will hunt them down for desecrating this thread. You have been warned.
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Post by Ray on Oct 3, 2005 10:27:20 GMT -5
i eventually got that. it is funny... lol
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Shalrae
Satisfactory Member
Best friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like leaves, found everywhere.
Posts: 442
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Post by Shalrae on Oct 3, 2005 10:45:58 GMT -5
I have heard that one many times, but it always get a chuckle. LOL LOL.
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Post by katwalker on Oct 7, 2005 18:09:09 GMT -5
That one didn't take long for me to get it was funny.
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Post by Wanderer of the Mountains on Oct 15, 2005 20:33:46 GMT -5
A new Joke!
A guy dies and goes to heaven. He walks down the streets of gold, but no one's there. Then he see's someone walking out of a big building. "Hey, Are we the only ones who made it up here?" the man asks. "No, everyone is in here." The other replies and leads him into the building. Inside was a gigantic hockey rink. they watch as a team of guys in black with BG on their backs enter the arena. A chorus of boos filled the stadium. "Who are they?" the man asks. "They're the Bad Guys." his friend replies before a group of white jersyed men goes on the arena. Their jerseys had GG on them. "And they are?" the man inquired. "They're our team, the Good Guys." his friend replied among the cheers. The crowd grew louder when a gold jerseyed player with WG entered the arena. "And that," the man's friend chuckled, "Is God. He thinks he's Wayne Gretzky."
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Shalrae
Satisfactory Member
Best friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like leaves, found everywhere.
Posts: 442
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Post by Shalrae on Oct 15, 2005 22:57:08 GMT -5
That is a new one. I have never heard of that one before. it is still a good one though.
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Post by pyrothraxus9 on Oct 16, 2005 13:36:08 GMT -5
another new joke
A man dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, he is greeted by James, who has the boring task of deciding who is let into heaven or not. So James asks, "so, what good things have you done in your life that deserves admittance to heaven?" The man replies, "Well, there was this one thing. There was a biker gang beating up on a beggar, and i told them to stop" "Well, thats awesome! When was this?"
"About, 5 minutes ago!"
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Post by Wanderer of the Mountains on Oct 22, 2005 18:02:11 GMT -5
Tell me if you want my christian golf joke or my Japanese Language oops joke....
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Shalrae
Satisfactory Member
Best friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like leaves, found everywhere.
Posts: 442
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Post by Shalrae on Oct 22, 2005 18:08:03 GMT -5
Both sound funny, but since we have had Christan ones, lets here the Japanese language one.
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Post by katwalker on Oct 24, 2005 19:55:54 GMT -5
the other one. Not the christian one, the other one.
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Post by Ray on Oct 26, 2005 17:46:22 GMT -5
no, BOTH. The japanese one first, though, please
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Post by katwalker on Oct 26, 2005 19:31:28 GMT -5
that's what I meant I meant that he should put up both but the Japanese one first.
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Post by Wanderer of the Mountains on Oct 26, 2005 21:14:43 GMT -5
ok ok, Japanese one first...
A guy goes to a Japanese resturant and starts being a wise ass. A Japanese man comes up to him and says "Would you like a migari?". "A migraine pill? Yes please!" the man replies. Then the japanese man kicks the other man out the door. "Migari means FRONT KICK YOU IDIOT!" the Japanese shouts behind him.
It's not very funny I know... but it's one of the few I have.
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Post by Ray on Oct 27, 2005 21:33:46 GMT -5
it's cool. I thought it was funny! then again, we are talking about me...... now, the other joke..... please?
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Shalrae
Satisfactory Member
Best friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like leaves, found everywhere.
Posts: 442
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Post by Shalrae on Oct 27, 2005 23:09:07 GMT -5
I liked the joke to. Could you put the other on please?
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Post by Wanderer of the Mountains on Nov 2, 2005 18:08:16 GMT -5
only if you beg or bargain me too. leia... you don't count under bargaining.... cause that's just cheap
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Post by Ray on Nov 2, 2005 18:46:20 GMT -5
so.... you will tell the joke?
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Shalrae
Satisfactory Member
Best friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like leaves, found everywhere.
Posts: 442
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Post by Shalrae on Nov 3, 2005 23:43:33 GMT -5
Please could you tell the joke? I really enjoy them.
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Post by Wanderer of the Mountains on Nov 9, 2005 21:49:55 GMT -5
So, Elijah and Moses are some of the greastest golfers in heaven. Now, they've heard Jesus is really, really good, so they challenge him and a partner to face them. When it's time for the match, Jesus walks up with a REALLY old man. Elijah and Moses exchange sly winks before lining up start hole 1. Elijah goes first, and he get the ball 1/2 way down the course. Next is Moses who gets it 3/4's of the way down the course. Now it's Jesus's turn, and poof! The ball goes flying to land perfectly on the green. The old man went last and his ball rolled down the starting hill. Now Elijah and Moses started arguing about whose ball they should play off of when a gopher suddenly grabs the old mans ball and starts running up the course. Suddenly a hawk grabs the gopher and fly over towards the green. The hawk drops the gopher onto the green and the gopher drops the ball into the hole. Elijah and Moses look on in shock, while Jesus turned to the old man and said. "Dad, please stop showing off..."
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Shalrae
Satisfactory Member
Best friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like leaves, found everywhere.
Posts: 442
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Post by Shalrae on Nov 9, 2005 22:01:33 GMT -5
That was a good one. I really liked it, I got a good laugh out of it. Thanks, I needed it, for I am tired, and will not be on comp soon. Unless at school.
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